Tapering Blues

Some of you know, some may not, but what exactly is tapering? For a marathon, it’s the time right after one’s longest long run, ahem 27 miles cough, typically three weeks out from the race that we gradually start cutting back a percentage of mileage to allow our bodies to recover while maintaining fitness.

For example, my long run after the 27 miler was 13 last Thursday, and tomorrow will be my last long run of 10 miles. Next week my mileage will continue to decrease since it is the week leading up to the race.

Next week is the week leading up to the race.

Um do you know how many emotions just came rushing to my brain and heart as I typed that out???

I figured I would enjoy tapering; not spending as much time running, having time to do other things, whatever. Honestly, I am totally hating not loving tapering. Possibly my mood has something to do with the recent time change and it getting dark at 5pm or maybe the days of rain we have had but I have been seriously sad. I feel like an emotional wreck, I’m contemplating my life, and I want to eat my feelings. If this is what being pregnant is like I’ll pass on this part of it, thanks.

Last night I was seriously in tears, crying! I hardly ever cry. The past four months have been dedicated to training for this race and now I’m all like, “Well what am I going to do next?” Let’s add onto that the fact that my whole academic plan and being thisclose to graduating got thrown a massive curveball a few weeks ago and I have no idea what I’m going to do.

 I remember on some long training runs I was cursing the idea of a marathon and swearing that I would never train for one again because running for four hours is dumb and now I’m missing lose longer than life training runs. What is my problem? Pretty soon I might just be out running 14 miles ‘for fun’ and when that happens you can officially put me in a room with padded walls.

To combat my pre-postpartum depression I started looking for more races, naturally. At 4am. Because I couldn’t sleep. Because I was sad? I don’t even know, I don’t know anything at 4am. I’m considering a Cowtown race in Fort Worth in February, or possible the Little Rock Marathon the first weekend in March.

If you would like for your life to be rudely interrupted, might I suggest training for and running a marathon? It will push you, stretch you, challenge you, make you love and despise yourself at the same time. You will shed tears of joy, frustration and sadness, it will overwhelm you, your body will thank you and hate you, you will learn more about yourself than you ever knew before, it will make you happy and it will make you sad. It won’t come without pain and hard work and it’s likely you will never be the same person you were before that marathon. In the end, you will love it all.



One thought on “Tapering Blues

  1. I am so proud of you! I’m 99.9% sure what you’re experiencing is more than normal. Just roll with it.

    As for the school thing? Things will work itself out, I’m sure of it. And if all else fails, you can come be my personal, unpaid assistant for a year!

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